Can i not drive my cunt home
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I cut my penus on the lid.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
