ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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