Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
