No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
