Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
