Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
