Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
