The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
