my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
