I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I wish you could order shots online.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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