Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
did you just send me my own nude
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
