How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
