Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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