Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
