God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
