I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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