I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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