How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
