You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
foreskin is a definite game changer
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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