i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
dude i'm inner monologue high
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
