actually, I'm a sock model
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
