found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i just google imaged poop.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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