i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
