No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
