everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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