A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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