i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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