butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
