Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
