erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
