Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
