The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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