i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
