theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
