And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
