handjob tips. give me some.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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