Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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