The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
