Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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