i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
