Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My vagina just clenched in fear
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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