dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Small penises have feelings too.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
