I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I checked into jail on foursquare
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
