He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
