Me. At least after what I've been through.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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