Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
