chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
