just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
