You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
