I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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