i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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